Don’t laugh…
…but before having kids, I thought being a stay at home Mum meant that I would be able to manage my time better.
I mean, I’d be at home with nowhere to be. I could keep my house clean, cook healthy meals and snacks everyday, set my own schedule while the kids played happily with their toys. Oh my sweet, summer dreamer.
Two no-sleep, no-limit, curious, attention loving boys later; coupled with severe exhaustion, post-natal depression and a few other chronic illnesses later…my house, more often than not, feels like it should be featured on an episode of Hoarders.
I didn’t have to look too far on the internet, or even within my own circle, to see that ‘being a mum is hard’ is a fairly common sentiment. While everybody, kids or no kids, has to tackle some seriously hard stuff sometimes; many a wide-eyed, over-caffeinated parent finds themselves lamenting, “I just didn’t know it was going to be so relentless!”
Getting together with your mum friends to share battle stories, or seeking a professional to talk are some of the best ways to get support through the tougher parts of motherhood. However, I’ve also found it really helpful, in those rare quiet minutes, to read the experiences of other mothers who have blogged about their own experiences online. In a variety of different circumstances, the words of these women living on the other side of the planet, have somehow successfully made my life feel like less of a #momfail.
So, if the sound of Lego being dumped out on the floor is enough to make you see red sometimes, know that you’re not alone.
When being a Mum is hard: 5 Blogs that helped when I feeling overwhelmed by motherhood.
Arlo explains how to please a baby at bedtime – by Janelle Hanchett (Renegade Mothering)
One of my favourites that I found around the time my first baby was three months old. It was so spot on and gave me the laugh I really needed at that time. It also helped me stop feeling like I was doing something wrong when bubs just…wouldn’t…sleeeeeeppp. It was nice to know it wasn’t just me whose baby ignored the sleep training books.
I though I was turning into a rage monster. Then I was diagnosed with anxiety – by Elizabeth Broadbent (Scary Mommy)
“You sisters in anxiety, you understand this: The terror that once it gets out from under you, you’ll never be able to gather it back in again.”
An honest depiction of when anxiety manifests itself as rage. I was in a place when I felt like I was losing my grip on my ability to mother and take care of the most basic day to day tasks. I felt both validated and encouraged to make an appointment to speak to a counsellor.
Invisible labor and the “small space” that’s ours – by Janelle Hanchett (Renegade Mothering)
“In other words, the invisible labor of thinking, remembering, asking, tracking – the mental space required for all that – is still consumed in my brain. All the space in there feels taken up, largely by shit I never asked for and probably don’t care about.”
More gold nuggets of wisdom from Janelle Hanchett. If you currently feel like you’re overwhelmed with ALL the responsibilities of family life without a strong support network close by, it’s likely you’ll resonate strongly with this depiction of modern motherhood. I laughed out loud more than once.
Give me gratitude or give me debt – by Glennon Doyle (Momastery)
In a world where it seems as though everyone has a Pinterest perfect pantry and an Insta-worthy lifestyle, the post is a beautiful reminder about the power of gratitude and taking the time to value what’s really important in life. Hint: a trendy new subway tile kitchen backsplash doesn’t make the cut.
When in survival mode… crucial questions to ask yourself – by Rachel Norman (A Mother Far From Home)
“It is when you are doing just enough to keep life going and, in order to stay afloat, you have to let many other important areas of life slip by the wayside just to have the energy to stay above water.”
An excellent description of survival mode and it’s different manifestations, followed up with practical strategies for moving forward.
Final thoughts
When being a mum is hard sometimes it’s helpful to have a bit of validation for what you’re feeling. Just remember, on those days you feel like you’re failing at adult-ing, you’re not alone. Call a friend, book an appointment to chat with a professional, or if that all seems like too much right now, a laugh and some practical advice from your fellow mamma-in-the-trenches blog, could be just what you need.
What are some of your favourite ‘when being a mum is hard’ blogs, books or accounts? Feel free to share in the comments below.
Related reads:
Identity outside of motherhood